Writing:Life in auckland
Waking up with an annoying voice entering my head, my brother stomped into my room banging a wooden spoon against a silver steel pot right next to my head. I wished that I had woken up earlier. I hated early mornings, I’m really not a morning person. Dragging my feet around the house I tried to get ready for school as fast as I could. In the car still half asleep, my head started to wander around until we hit a bump.
Life in Syria:Morning
With shivers down her spine she woke up in the cold. She was starving with hunger and was wanting some breakfast. With stacks of sugar bags and plastic sheeting to make her house warm, she was still freezing. There was nobody in her life to keep her company because of the war.
Life in Auckland:Lunch
I looked among the fields to see that kids are happy. Playing on playgrounds and fields it was a bright sunny day. Having a race up and down the fields I raced against my fastest friends. Huffing and puffing my friends were too fast for me, so I stopped and looked forward to eating my packed lunch.
Life in Syria: Lunch
Starving and tired the young girl was looking on the streets for food. Everybody was sad all around her because they were suffering from hunger. Kids were crying and families were dying from the serious injuries they had because of the war. It was hard trying to find a safer area to live because the only places they could go to was abandoned buildings or refugee camps.
Life in Auckland:Night
In bed ready to go sleep my eyes were dead asleep. Warm in my bed I could tell my brother was straight asleep after I could hear his snoring.
Life in Syria:Night
Freezing under her shelter she had no blanket or anything that could keep her warm. She had no clothes but the ones that she was wearing, which was a ripped t-shirt and shorts that were two sizes too big for her. Completely exhausted, the girl drifted off to sleep into the cold.
Hey Tui,
ReplyDeleteThe differences between life in Syria and life in Auckland are huge aren't they? You've done really well to present those clearly, but are there any similarities? what do the kids there do for fun, Even in times like this I'm sure they can find a bit of down time.
Take a look at your scentences and see if there might be a better way to write them, would they sound better the other way around? like turning "I could tell my brother was straight asleep..." into "I could tell my brother fell asleep straight away..."
Keep it up :) Mr. Hutchings